Back Into the Fray
Well it certainly has been some time since my last post. This year has proven to be a very busy one for me and then I found that I was expecting again in June. I have a tendency to get pretty tired and unmotivated during my first trimester. It wasn't until this last week that I felt like writing again. I am about 5 months along now and doing well. This is my eighth pregnancy and hopefully my sixth that will go full term. I have had 2 miscarriages before, but they were both before the end of the first trimester. Everything seems to be going fine so far.
A lot has changed so far this year. We were a homeschooling family for the last two years. I think once you do something like homeschooling it starts becoming part of your identity. You start thinking of yourself as a "homeschooling mom" or part of a "homeschooling family." It was never really my intention to homeschool at all costs. My intention, from the very beginning, was to do what my husband and I thought was best for our family. For two years that was homeschooling.
We were going to do a hybrid school this year, where the children went to a school for 2 days a week, and stayed home to work with me for 3 days a week. I chose this model for a couple of reasons. One, it was considered public school and absolutely free. This was appealing as our budget was very tight this year. Two, it allowed me some time with the new baby and for shopping on the days the older children were at school. I didn't want to completely leave the homeschooling model, but I realized I needed more time.
As it turned out, the new school was very demanding. Coupled with 2 children with autism in the home, an infant, and a third child that has some mild sensory and muscular issues, my home was not conducive to learning. I was often trying to "teach" with almost constant crying in the background. I felt I had little time to potty train my toddler or spend time with the baby the second half of the week. There was also no time to fit in Asa's speech appointments. One month into the school year I came to the disheartening conclusion that things could not go on as they were. So now my children are back in the public school (Kaira started out in public school for kindergarten and first grade). I am now okay with this decision, but it took some readjusting. I felt like I had failed. I shouldn't have felt that way, but I did.
It is not that I feel the public schools are evil. We were a little concerned about possible negative influences, sure, as both Scott and I were bullied somewhat in our school years. More than that it was about being involved in their lives and individualizing their education. I worry that with the large classrooms my children will get lost in the shuffle. Kaleb entered first grade top in his class. He is so far ahead, that no one else is at his level. They put him in a lower level so that he could work with others. I understand their position, I just hate to see him uninterested in his work because it is too easy. Kaira has been getting picked on because she likes to answer questions in class. Being the only pupil in my class at home for awhile, it was second nature to her. I fear that she may eventually cave to peer pressure and lose that quality. It is what we must do now, though, and we are adjusting. We are hoping private school may be an option in the future.
Now I am happy to help them with their schoolwork in the evening and go the teacher conferences when they are scheduled. In some ways, it can be as busy as homeschooling. I have 4 lunches to pack at night, 4 children to get on buses in the morning (2 to preschool), 2 times each day to meet kids coming home, and doctors appointments between kids leaving and coming. I didn't have to worry about these things before. I do get more time to clean and reflect now in the morning, this has been very welcome. It is nice to have a break from the behavior issues for just a little while. I have learned to view this not as selfish, but necessary. I want to be the best mom I can be for them. A happier, healthier mom is best.
Thanks for visiting. I'll try to keep posting to keep you up to date!
It is not that I feel the public schools are evil. We were a little concerned about possible negative influences, sure, as both Scott and I were bullied somewhat in our school years. More than that it was about being involved in their lives and individualizing their education. I worry that with the large classrooms my children will get lost in the shuffle. Kaleb entered first grade top in his class. He is so far ahead, that no one else is at his level. They put him in a lower level so that he could work with others. I understand their position, I just hate to see him uninterested in his work because it is too easy. Kaira has been getting picked on because she likes to answer questions in class. Being the only pupil in my class at home for awhile, it was second nature to her. I fear that she may eventually cave to peer pressure and lose that quality. It is what we must do now, though, and we are adjusting. We are hoping private school may be an option in the future.
Now I am happy to help them with their schoolwork in the evening and go the teacher conferences when they are scheduled. In some ways, it can be as busy as homeschooling. I have 4 lunches to pack at night, 4 children to get on buses in the morning (2 to preschool), 2 times each day to meet kids coming home, and doctors appointments between kids leaving and coming. I didn't have to worry about these things before. I do get more time to clean and reflect now in the morning, this has been very welcome. It is nice to have a break from the behavior issues for just a little while. I have learned to view this not as selfish, but necessary. I want to be the best mom I can be for them. A happier, healthier mom is best.
Thanks for visiting. I'll try to keep posting to keep you up to date!
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