Indecent Exposure

    Many parents at one time or another have had a child take off their clothes in public.  Usually this results in a moment of embarrassment , then a scramble to restore decency.  We may chuckle at these moments in hindsight, but when you are still in the moment it is not so fun. 

     For me this moment came when I took my son with me to get take-out from the local Taco Bell.  While we were waiting for our order, my son decided to pull his pants and underwear down around his ankles.  I was at first turned away from him and did not see what he was doing.  When I turned around, there was my 7-year old, exposed to the world, or at least the several patrons in the dining area.  He thought it was delightfully funny.  I was beet-red in the face.  

     As adults, we may not realize that we often do this ourselves.  While we are not literally declothing ourselves at Taco Bell, we often declothe ourselves spiritually when we forget to wear our garments of faith.  When we are lacking in faith, we expose ourselves to the elements of temptation.  We start taking the control of our lives away from the Lord.  This can lead us into sin, shame, then a scramble to restore decency.  Remember Abraham when he was still known as Abram?  When he traveled to Egypt  in Genesis chapter 13, he lied to Pharaoh about Sarai being his wife.  He was afraid that if the Pharaoh discovered Sarai was married to Abram, that he would have him killed.  Rather than have faith in God to protect him, Abram told Pharaoh that Sarai was his sister and let him take her as his wife.  As a result, the Lord inflicted serious diseases on Pharaoh and his household.  While Pharaoh let Sarai go, there is no telling what ramifications this event had on Abram's marriage to Sarai.  Luckily, the Lord is watching out for us even when we make mistakes.  Abram made many mistakes in his life, but the Lord still kept his promises to him.  

     Are there areas in your life that are not clothed by faith?  Is there a decision that you are currently struggling over?  Pray that God will grant you guidance in your decision and courage to have faith in His leading.

"You are all sons of god through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ." - Galatians 3:27

Back Into the Fray

Well it certainly has been some time since my last post.  This year has proven to be a very busy one for me and then I found that I was expecting again in June.  I have a tendency to get pretty tired and unmotivated during my first trimester.  It wasn't until this last week that I felt like writing again.  I am about 5 months along now and doing well.  This is my eighth pregnancy and hopefully my sixth that will go full term.  I have had 2 miscarriages before, but they were both before the end of the first trimester.  Everything seems to be going fine so far.  

A lot has changed so far this year.  We were a homeschooling family for the last two years.  I think once you do something like homeschooling it starts becoming part of your identity.  You start thinking of yourself as a "homeschooling mom" or part of a "homeschooling family."  It was never really my intention to homeschool at all costs.  My intention, from the very beginning, was to do what my husband and I thought was best for our family.  For two years that was homeschooling. 

We were going to do a hybrid school this year, where the children went to a school for 2 days a week, and stayed home to work with me for 3 days a week.  I chose this model for a couple of reasons.  One, it was considered public school and absolutely free.  This was appealing as our budget was very tight this year.  Two, it allowed me some time with the new baby and for shopping on the days the older children were at school.  I didn't want to completely leave the homeschooling model, but I realized I needed more time.  

As it turned out, the new school was very demanding.  Coupled with 2 children with autism in the home, an infant, and a third child that has some mild sensory and muscular issues, my home was not conducive to learning.  I was often trying to "teach" with almost constant crying in the background.  I felt I had little time to potty train my toddler or spend time with the baby the second half of the week.  There was also no time to fit in Asa's speech appointments.  One month into the school year I came to the disheartening conclusion that things could not go on as they were.  So now my children are back in the public school (Kaira started out in public school for kindergarten and first grade).  I am now okay with this decision, but it took some readjusting.  I felt like I had failed.  I shouldn't have felt that way, but I did. 

It is not that I feel the public schools are evil.  We were a little concerned about possible negative influences, sure, as both Scott and I were bullied somewhat in our school years.  More than that it was about being involved in their lives and individualizing their education.  I worry that with the large classrooms my children will get lost in the shuffle.  Kaleb entered first grade top in his class.  He is so far ahead, that no one else is at his level.  They put him in a lower level so that he could work with others.  I understand their position, I just hate to see him uninterested in his work because it is too easy.  Kaira has been getting picked on because she likes to answer questions in class.  Being the only pupil in my class at home for awhile, it was second nature to her.  I fear that she may eventually cave to peer pressure and lose that quality.  It is what we must do now, though, and we are adjusting.  We are hoping private school may be an option in the future.

Now I am happy to help them with their schoolwork in the evening and go the teacher conferences when they are scheduled.  In some ways, it can be as busy as homeschooling.  I have 4 lunches to pack at night, 4 children to get on buses in the morning (2 to preschool), 2 times each day to meet kids coming home, and doctors appointments between kids leaving and coming.  I didn't have to worry about these things before.  I do get more time to clean and reflect now in the morning, this has been very welcome.  It is nice to have a break from the behavior issues for just a little while.  I have learned to view this not as selfish, but necessary.  I want to be the best mom I can be for them.  A happier, healthier mom is best.

Thanks for visiting.  I'll try to keep posting to keep you up to date!

Out With the Girls

      It was one of those weeks.  I think you know what I'm talking about.  I'm not talking about the kind that passed by in a vaguely uniform fashion, leaving only a small blip of memorable happenings on the ever-running log of time.  I'm talking about of one those weeks that brings you to the breaking point and back again.  The kind that makes you rethink what the heck you are doing and why on earth you are doing it.
     It's not that anything catastrophic happened.  There wasn't actually any one event that would define this type of a week.  It was all of the small things added together to make one large mess that made the week what it was.  I really believe that everything was the result of a mild stomach bug that was passing through the family, coupled with dreary weather and fluctuating hormones.  That's it. Nothing spectacular.  In a family of seven, however, that can lead to a number of interesting events.  Events such as being struck in the forehead by pencil-point by an angry six year old refusing to do his schoolwork, a bare foot stepping into the cool feeling of urine-soaked carpet (I hope my landlord isn't reading this), two separate occasions of a diaper leaking fluid solids and saturating an entire outfit to the point where the wriggling toddler must be stripped naked and washed before reconstruction can begin, a constipated baby that spits up frequently on your last clean shirt, a four-year old that doesn't feel well and cries the entire day, and feeling like you're behind all day long.
     I wasn't sure at first that I wanted to attend the women's ministry event at the church this Friday evening. I really just wanted to stay home and rest.  Then I started thinking.  A relaxed evening at the church watching a movie WOULD be a rest!  It was informal enough to bring a baby and I could get away from the house for a few hours.  My mom was going to be there and I was really missing her.  I packed up a blanket for the baby to lay on while watching the movie and some pillows for sitting on and away I went.
     The movie was Julie & Julia.  I was not familiar with the story of Julia Child and really didn't know what I was in for.  The premise of the movie is that the main character, Julie, decides to work through Julia Child's cookbook and make every recipe in 365 days.  She blogs about her experiences as she works along.  While her story is being told, they simultaneously tell the story of Julia Child and how she becomes a cook and eventually writes a cookbook.  Both find joy through their process but only after persevering through some difficult moments.

     I could totally relate.  When I was first married, I could not cook at all.  Most of the dishes I made were from meals packaged in boxes or cans.  Spaghetti was the most complicated dish I made and I really wasn't very good at that either.  I found cooking a waste of time and despised the pile of dishes that would be left afterward.  As our family grew and our budget shrank, I began to try to make things from scratch.  I wasn't excited about the idea.  I couldn't fathom spending an hour cooking supper.  They say that necessity is the mother of invention.  In my case that was completely true.  I started paying more attention to cook books and trying new recipes.  I began to make my own bread with a bread maker, then my own rolls from scratch.  Now I make my own pizza crust, bread sticks and all sorts of other items.  What surprised me the most was the day I realized I actually enjoyed cooking.  There was just something about making something delicious out of simple, basic ingredients.  I liked to create!  If I had not been faced with a need to try baking, or the difficult circumstances that ultimately created the need, I would not have found joy in it.
     I was reminded tonight that the "difficult moments"often precede or coincide with the things that bring the greatest joy. My week was full of "difficult moments."  I guess it is no surprise that it was also full of moments of joy. There was the joy of seeing Asa, now feeling better, sing his way throughout the house.  There was the joy of seeing Kaleb reenact his favorite Charlie Brown movie, and of receiving Kaden's specialty spider tickles.  The joy of witnessing Molly's first time rolling over.  The joy of fixing Kaira's hair for ballet class.
     Sometimes, when in the middle of the tough times, it can be difficult to remember that there will be an end.  It can be hard to think that all of that yucky stuff can be worth it.  Sometimes all we can do is just keep running and hope we reach the other side.  The thing to remember is that it IS all worth it.  The trials WILL NOT go on forever.  This life is only a moment on the spectrum of eternity. I write this to encourage myself as well as you. Hang in there and don't quit so that one day we may say as Paul did in 2 Timothy 4:7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day."